Hey beautiful, welcome! Today, we’re talking about something that can truly change your life: raising your standards. This isn’t just about relationships — although that’s where it shows up the most — it’s about how you value yourself, protect your peace, and create a life that actually serves you.
Before we dive in, I want to let you know that the accompanying episode for this blog post is a private podcast episode, completely free — you just need to sign up to access it. Sign up here 🤍
What Are Standards Really?
Standards are like boundaries. They protect your peace and shape the environment around you. They’re the expectations you set for yourself and for the people you let into your life.
When it comes to relationships, ask yourself: What do I expect from my partner? What will I allow? What do I require?
A lot of us think we have high standards, but often our “standards” are lower than we realise. For me, there was a time when I thought my standards were okay, but actually, they weren’t. And honestly, women today are often shamed for having standards. People make you feel like you’re being “too picky” or “difficult”, but your standards aren’t about anyone else, they’re about you.
Your standards protect your peace. They make sure you’re respected, treated the way you deserve, and that your environment supports your growth.
Why Being Accommodating Isn’t Helping
Many women try to be the “easy girl” — the one who accommodates, lets things slide, and puts everyone else first. Maybe you think it will make someone like you more. Trust me, it won’t.
Being accommodating might make you easier to be with, but it won’t make someone love you, respect you, or commit fully. People often take advantage of that kindness, using it to boost their own ego while lowering your self-worth.
Low standards teach people how to treat you. If you let things slide, they will continue. But when you hold yourself to a higher standard, people notice. They adjust or they move on — either way, you win.
How Your Standards Reflect Your Self-Worth
Here’s the truth: the standards you set reflect how much you value yourself. When you respect your own standards, people will treat you accordingly. When you don’t, you attract people who match the energy you’re giving out.
I actually go deeper into this in my Standing on Business: Wake-Up Call Guide, where I break down exactly how your self-worth and standards are connected it’s a real wake-up call that will make you realise where you might be settling or keeping your bar too low. It will help you snap out of that low-standard, low-confidence energy and start showing up as the woman who truly respects herself. Get your guide here 💘
Think about it: the company you keep, the partners you choose, the friends you surround yourself with — it all reflects your standards. When people see that you respect yourself and your boundaries, they will respect them too.
And yes, there will always be people who can’t meet your standards — that’s not a failure. That’s clarity. Raising your standards isn’t about forcing someone to fit your expectations. It’s about knowing what you deserve and not settling for less.
Raising Your Standards Requires an Abundance Mindset
Many women hesitate to raise their standards because they fear losing people or being alone. That’s the scarcity mindset: If I raise my standards, no one will like me.
But raising your standards creates space for better people — those who truly value and respect you. Not everyone can meet your level, and that’s fine. You don’t want everyone. You want the right people.
Think about it like this: more people can “afford” silver than gold. Not everyone can afford diamond. That doesn’t make you better than anyone else — it makes you rare. You are a diamond. People who can’t meet your standard? That’s not your loss. That’s their limitation.
Practical Tips for Raising Your Standards
So how do you actually raise your standards? Here are some steps I shared in the episode:
- Look at your environment – Who are you surrounding yourself with? Are they lifting you up or holding you back? The people and content you consume have a big impact on your standards.
- Respect yourself through small actions – Invest in yourself daily. Pamper yourself, take care of your appearance, your sleep, your health. Even small routines build self-respect.
- Know what you want – When it comes to relationships or any part of life, be clear on your expectations. Don’t settle for less than what aligns with your values.
- Practice saying no – If someone can’t meet your standards, let them go. It’s not about being difficult, it’s about protecting your peace.
- Surround yourself with high-standard people – Spend time with women who have the standards and life you aspire to. This will inspire and elevate your own life.
Raising Your Standards is About Respect, Not Control
Many women confuse standards with being controlling or “too picky”. That’s not it. Standards are about self-respect. They are about saying: I respect myself enough to not accept less than I deserve.
It’s not about forcing someone to meet your expectations. It’s about knowing your worth and letting your life reflect it. When someone genuinely cares about you, they will rise to meet your standard — not because you demand it, but because they value you. Again this is something I cover in my standing on business wake up call guide and I recommend you download if it’s something you’d like to go further into.
Start Today
You don’t need to change everything overnight. Start with just one standard. One thing you are no longer willing to compromise on. Maybe it’s how you’re treated by friends, a partner, or even how you care for yourself.
Every small choice that honours your worth builds your standard. Every action that respects yourself is a step towards a better life. And remember, God is limitless. There’s no limit to the blessings you can receive when you honour yourself and your standards.
Let Me Leave You With This …
Raising your standards changes everything. It affects the people you attract, the peace you experience, and the quality of your life. It’s not about being difficult or unkind. It’s about standing on business, knowing your worth, and making space for what truly serves you.
If you’d like to listen to this in audio form don’t forget you can listen to the episode “The Importance of Raising Your Standards” on my private inner circle podcast, it’s completely free, you just need to sign up. Sign up here
And if you would like to take action immediately, grab your Standing on Business: Wake-Up Call Guide. Think of it as a wake-up call: it will make you realise where you’ve been settling, snap you out of low-confidence, low-standard energy, and help you start showing up as the woman who respects herself in every area of life. Get your guide here
Start small, start today, and trust that by valuing yourself, the right people and opportunities will follow.
