As someone passionate about inner work and striving to become the best version of myself, I constantly feel the urge to consume self-development content, thinking this is what’s best for me.However, I soon learned this approach can actually be unhealthy. I began to feel groggy and confused because different videos and podcasts often contradict each other. One says to do something one way, while another suggests the opposite. It became draining and made me lose motivation to strive toward my goals. It felt overwhelming and less fun. I call this feeling “Self-Development Overload.” I talk more about it in my podcast episode, “SELF-DEVELOPMENT OVERLOAD IS HOLDING US BACK.”
What is self development overload?
Self-development overload happens when you’re so engrossed in bettering yourself that you become overwhelmed by all the content and changes you’re trying to make. Remember, change happens best when done naturally and with intention. Forcing yourself to constantly think about your goals puts you in survival mode, as you keep comparing yourself to the person you want to become. Don’t get it twisted, consuming content has many positive benefits especially if you’re just starting out on your journey, however if it is not done in moderation it can be the very thing that sabotages your growth.
How self development overload is holding you back
When we get stuck in the spiral of constantly consuming content we end up spending more time on thinking about what we need to do next rather than actually doing it. We plot, scheme and plan and try to gain as much knowledge as we can as if we do not already know enough, when in reality we do.
If you’ve been on your inner work journey and are reading this article chances are you’ve watched/listened to a lot of self development content to help you elevate in different areas of your life. There are often many repeated themes in these videos so you most likely know exactly what needs to be done. However you still feel the need to watch or consume content. This is what is slowing you down because what has actually been done that’s going to get to your goal?
Think about it: What have you actually done to reach your goals? Maybe you watched a video on setting up a dropshipping business. Great—you know how to start. But have you taken the first step yet? Or perhaps you want to go viral on TikTok. Instead of posting videos (which is what will get you there), you keep watching “how-to” videos.
The key is to take action. Consuming endless content won’t get you where you want to be.
Self development overload stops you from being in your feminine energy
When you’re overwhelmed by content, it’s hard to know what to follow. This confusion makes it difficult to trust your gut and intuition. For example, instead of asking yourself what you think you need to do, you might consume more content to figure out what you’re doing wrong. When I am feeling like I’m not where I want to be, let me consume more content as to what I am doing wrong rather than asking myself what do I think I need to do ?” I was constantly teaching myself that I don’t know what’s good for myself and that I need someone else to tell me what to do.
This habit teaches you to rely on others’ advice rather than trusting yourself. It pulls you out of your body and into your head, where you’re constantly overthinking. It also sends a subconscious message that you’re not good enough as you are, which takes you further away from your feminine energy.
Feminine energy is about being, not trying to be. When you tell yourself the current version of you isn’t enough, you begin to act in ways you think you’re “supposed” to act, instead of how your mind and body already know to behave. This lack of self-acceptance erodes your SELF LOVE, which is vital for feeling safe and at ease in your feminine energy.
What You Can Do To Avoid Self Development Overload.
Self-development overload happens to all of us at some point, but we don’t have to stay in that place. Here are some things you can do to avoid it:
1. Practice Making Your Own Decisions
We often seek outside advice for decisions because we doubt ourselves. Deep down, you already know what’s best for you. Start practicing decision-making for yourself.
Begin small: Decide what to wear today without overthinking. If you’re stuck between two choices, count down from five and pick one. Stick with that choice—this builds confidence in your ability to make decisions.
2. Build a Strong Relationship with God
This has been a game-changer for me and is the ultimate way to avoid overload. God, the one who created you, knows exactly what you need.
Allah says in the Quran:
“And indeed We have created man, and We know whatever thoughts his inner self develops, and We are closer to him than (his) jugular vein.” – Quran 50:16
When you connect with God and seek His guidance, you can’t go wrong. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“Whosoever knows himself knows his Lord.”
Through prayer, including Istikhara, you can gain clarity and confidence in your decisions—big or small.
3. Set Limits on Content Consumption
There are many ways to limit how much self-development content you consume:
- Set a daily or weekly limit on how many videos or podcasts you watch. For example, “I’ll watch three videos a day.”
- Allocate specific times for consuming content, such as an hour and a half in the evening. Outside this time, avoid self-development material.
- Set a total time limit for each day, such as three hours.
These boundaries prevent you from wasting time and allow you to focus on actionable steps.
Overwhelming Yourself with self development content can be extremely draining and can make you feel crap about yourself. But we are not here for that anymore. It’s time we started living with fulfilment and trusting ourselves and God to get us to where we need to be. Let me know if you try any of the tips mentioned in this article or even have your own ways of dealing with self development overload to help a girl out. Who knows I might even mention it in my next podcast episode!