If you’ve ever wondered about the signs you have low standards in relationships, this blog post is your reality check. A lot of girls say they have “high standards,” but their behaviour tells a completely different story. You might talk about wanting consistency, effort, intentionality, but the minute you like a guy, everything flies out the window. Suddenly you’re accepting mixed signals. You’re letting disrespect slide. You’re overthinking his bare-minimum behaviour while telling yourself, “It’s not that deep,” “He’s just busy,” “Maybe I’m overthinking,” or “At least he still texts.”
And deep down, you know you’re not asking for too much.
You’re just scared he won’t stay if you raise the bar.
This is why so many girls end up in situationships, confusion, and heartbreak, not because they’re not worthy, but because their standards drop the second they catch feelings. And the part that hurts the most? You know you deserve better, but you still settle anyway.
For guidance on what happens when you actually start standing on your standards, my post Why Raising Your Standards Changes Your Life breaks down exactly how shifting your expectations transforms not just your relationships, but the way people show up for you.
If you’ve ever been treated like an option, entertained someone who gave you the bare minimum, or felt like men don’t take you seriously — this is exactly for you. We’re going to go through the real signs of low standards and how to raise them.
But before we dive in, the accompanying podcast episode for this post, “The Importance of Raising Your Standards”, is available in my Private Podcast Series. It’s free, and it goes even deeper into the topic. You can sign up and listen here ↓
5 Signs You Have Low Standards
Here are the top signs you have low standards in relationships. Notice if any resonate with you.
1. You Let Things Slide Because You “Don’t Want Drama”
One of the biggest signs of low standards is when you notice the bare minimum, the inconsistency, the dry effort… but you stay quiet because you don’t want to “cause issues.” You tell yourself it’s not that deep, or that maybe you’re overreacting, even though your intuition is literally screaming that something is off. And this is exactly where most girls go wrong: you think staying silent is keeping the peace, but really, it’s you betraying your own boundaries. Every time you ignore that weird tone, that delayed reply, that shady behaviour, you teach him that your boundaries are flexible. Optional. Negotiable. And once you show someone that they can slide past your standards without consequences, the bar drops, because you allowed it to. What you allow will always continue.
2. You Accept the Bare Minimum and Call It “Understanding”
Sometimes we mistake being kind and accommodating for being an “understanding girl”. He gives you small gestures, and you convince yourself it’s more than enough. He calls once in a while, and you tell yourself it’s “progress.” He puts in half the effort, and you call it “potential.” He apologises but does nothing differently, and you tell yourself he’s “trying.” This is how low standards sneak in: they disguise themselves as patience or “understanding.” But settling for small, inconsistent effort is not being patient — it’s allowing yourself to be treated like poo. And a habit that teaches him how little he needs to give to stay in your life, which quietly chips away at your self-respect.
3. You Attract the Same Type of Man Repeatedly
If it’s always the same story, the same behaviour, the same type of disappointment, it’s a clear sign your standards aren’t doing their job. As I said in the podcast, “A guy can give low effort to one girl and full effort to another, because she takes herself more seriously.” If you keep attracting men who treat you the same way, it’s not a coincidence — it’s a pattern. And the thing is these patterns won’t change until your standards do. The moment you raise your expectations for how you want to be treated, you will naturally start attracting the kind of men who are capable of meeting them.
I go into this a lot in Why He Doesn’t Take You Seriously | Stop Being the Easy Girl, where I show how lowering your standards signals that you’ll accept being treated like an option — and why that pattern keeps repeating until you change it.
4. You’re Scared to Raise the Bar Because You Don’t Want Him to Leave
This fear is at the root of it all. You worry that if you ask for more, he’ll lose interest. You fear that standing firm on something you need will make him disappear. You worry that raising your standards will make you “too much.” But that’s the whole point. Your standards exist to repel those who aren’t capable of treating you right and to attract those who are meant to be in your life and give you the love and respect you deserve. If raising your standards causes him to walk away, that’s actually protection, not a loss. Allah never takes away what is truly meant for you, and the man who is meant for you won’t run from your standards — he will rise to meet them. You’re not doing “too much”.
5. Your Behaviour Doesn’t Match Your Expectations
This is your reality check. You say you want consistency, but you tolerate inconsistency. You say you want intentional energy, but you entertain men who show none. You say you want effort, but you accept excuses.
The mismatch here is the red flag.
High expectations mean nothing if your behaviour contradicts them. It’s not enough to say what you want — you have to actually live by it.
So How Do You Raise Your Relationship Standards ?
1. Do the Inner Work on Your Self-Worth
Everything starts with knowing your value. When you truly understand your worth, your standards naturally rise. Ask yourself: What treatment aligns with my peace? What kind of energy do I want around me? What behaviours am I willing to accept, and which am I not? If you’re unsure where to start, my Standing on Business: Wake-Up Call guide is a perfect place. It’s designed to help you reflect on your boundaries, understand why you’ve let things slide, and start stepping into the version of yourself who refuses to settle.
2. Listen to Women Who Already Have High Standards
You can’t become a woman who knows her worth in isolation. Surround yourself with women who hold themselves accountable, demand respect, and don’t settle for less than they deserve. Watch how they move, listen to their stories, and take note of the behaviours and habits that set them apart. Their example will inspire you to step up and show you what’s possible. They will show you how to become a girl with high standards
3. Embody the Woman Who Moves Like She Knows Her Worth
Confidence isn’t about being loud or flashy — it’s about clarity and presence. The way you carry yourself, the energy you give off, and the boundaries you uphold send a message without a single word: you respect yourself, and you expect the same from others.
4. Practise Doing It Just Once
You don’t have to change your life in a day. Start by enforcing one standard, making one boundary clear, or walking away from one situation that doesn’t align with your worth. That single action sets a precedent, a blueprint for how you’ll operate moving forward. Big change begins with small, intentional steps.
Stand on Your Standards — No Compromises
Recognising the signs you have low standards is one of the first steps to raising them and stepping into your worth.
Holding your standards is all about knowing your worth and protecting it. You’re not here to entertain excuses or accept low effort. You’re here to live a life that matches the value you know you have.
Yes, some people might leave when you start enforcing your boundaries. That’s not a loss. You’re repelling those who aren’t meant for you and making space for the ones who are. The right person won’t resent your standards; they’ll rise to them without hesitation.
Start small. Pick one standard and practice enforcing it just once. Notice how it feels to take yourself seriously. Surround yourself with women who inspire you, and consume content that lifts your mindset. Move like the woman who knows her worth because energy is gold.
Raising your standards isn’t a one-time thing; it’s a lifestyle. And if you need guidance to make it real, my Standing on Business: Wake-Up Call guide is a great place to start. It breaks down the steps to stop compromising, start protecting your peace, and attract the people and opportunities you deserve.
For even more clarity on spotting when your standards are slipping and how to consistently hold your worth, don’t forget to listen to the episode that goes with this post in my Private Podcast Series — “The Importance of Raising Your Standards.” Pair it with Why Raising Your Standards Changes Your Life and Why He Doesn’t Take You Seriously | Stop Being the Easy Girl and my Standing on Business: Wake-Up Call guide, and you’ve got a complete toolkit to stop settling, hold your worth, and attract the relationships you truly deserve.
