In this episode of To All The Girls Out There, we’re having a conversation that might be a little uncomfortable, but I think it’s one we need to have.
We’ve become so quick to judge, criticise, and assume the worst about other people, especially online. Whether it’s a stranger’s success, a celebrity’s downfall, or someone getting something we’ve been wanting ourselves, our first reaction isn’t always as positive as we’d like to think.
So why does that happen?
In this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology behind comparison, insecurity, resentment, and schadenfreude — the strange feeling of finding comfort or satisfaction in someone else’s struggles.
Chapter Markers
00:00 We’ve Normalised Being Haters
02:21 Why Do We Enjoy Seeing People Fail?
09:37 When Does It Become a Problem?
12:12 Social Media, Celebrity Culture & Cancel Culture
21:00 The Promotion Scenario
25:33 What Your Triggers Are Trying To Teach You
Concepts Mentioned
A psychological term describing the experience of taking pleasure, comfort, or satisfaction from another person’s misfortune.
📚 Projection (some helpful sites):
Projection: You Are My Mirror and I Am Yours
Jungian Confrerie – Projection
Extremely helpful and insightful video on projection!!
When our own insecurities, frustrations, or unhealed wounds influence how we perceive and judge other people.
Journal Prompts ✍️
- Who do I find myself judging most often, and why?
- Is there someone whose success makes me uncomfortable? What might that reveal about my own desires, goals, or insecurities?
- When was the last time I minimised someone else’s achievement rather than celebrating it?
- Are there any grudges or resentments I may still be holding onto?
- What qualities in other people trigger me the most? Could they be highlighting something I admire, want, or need to work on within myself?
- How can I turn comparison into inspiration this week?
